BREAKING NEWS: LARGE SINK HOLE APPEARS IN WELLINGTON CIRCUS

Sunday 1st April 2018

UPDATE: APRIL FOOOOL! We are happy to confirm that Wellington Circus remains intact – we just couldn’t resist a Holes-related joke on this special day!

Nottingham Playhouse is shocked to report that overnight, a large sinkhole has appeared in the centre of Wellington Circus, the gated park directly outside the theatre. The 40 metre-wide hole has swallowed most of the grass in the middle of the circular park, and an initial survey of the site reveals a number of arrow heads and the remains of an old bow have been unearthed.

Adam Penford, Artistic Director of Nottingham Playhouse, was alerted to the development by building security early this morning. “It’s lucky it happened on a Sunday when the theatre was closed. We’ve just opened our new family-friendly theatre show Holes, and some of our staff and cast members like to go and sit in Wellington Circus for lunch. I dread to think what might have happened if the sinkhole appeared while they were enjoying their sandwiches in the park.”


View of the sinkhole taken by a Wellington Circus resident this morning.

Chief Executive Stephanie Sirr has examined the sinkhole with the help of archaeologists who are investigating the possibility of an as-yet-undiscovered cave located directly beneath Wellington circus. She expressed her shock at the sudden change in the landscape directly outside Nottingham Playhouse. “It really is a scarily large hole – footage from our security cameras show it appearing in a matter of seconds during the night. If it gets any bigger, it could start swallowing Sky Mirror, our Box Office, or even our prized collection of panto dame wigs!”

The cause of the sinkhole is as yet unknown, but there is speculation that the ongoing redevelopment of the Broadmarsh Centre and bus station has caused shifts in the soil deep beneath the city. Nottingham Playhouse will continue investigating with the relevant authorities, but Stephanie has received assurances that performances of Holes can continue from tomorrow, Monday 2 April at 7pm.

To book your tickets, visit the Holes event page here